Blogging critics can be tough to stomach.
Most bloggers play small to avoid even facing critics.
I know I did for many years.
Guest posting? Forget about it. No way I would subject myself to critical views from strangers outside of my blogging audience. Blog commenting scared me too. Who knew what fellow bloggers thought of me and my take? Maybe they would label my comment as spam and not even publish it.
I recall receiving my first few 1 star reviews. Ouch. Both eBook and audio book, the sting hurt in each case. I also recall a seemingly kind woman excitedly offering to review one of my eBooks. She seemed sweet. Then she wrote a negative, not too nice review, that made her look like a jerk. But was she a jerk? Of course not. Unhappy people gladly take any chance to unload self criticism onto you, your blog, your products and your services. All critics project fear and pain onto you but really speak of self.
How do you handle blogging critics? Simple; see criticism being 100% about critics and 0% to do with you. Step out of the way. Allow critics to talk about themselves. Do not get involved.
I was a mirror for the unhappy blogger and those 1 star review people. My eBooks and content are solid, honest, genuine and true. If someone has a problem with solid, honest, genuine and true content I know the problem is 100% about them and has nothing to do with me. I am a mirror, reflecting unhappiness and low self-esteem and a host of other issues back to critics. Knowing this, I give no critic energy. Starving critics of energy by not responding or engaging them allows the critics to vanish from your life. Trust me; this crowd looks for someone else to unload upon, someone else to pick apart.
How to Handle Critics
First, feel any emotion arising after being criticized. I became annoyed at the woman because a small part of me believed some of what she said was true. I got clearer, felt the fear-not good enough energy, and simply moved on. Your job is never to convince or dissuade a critic. Give love to your fans. Critics war with self. Ignore their war. Give love to where you are loved; your fan base.
In my eBook 6 Life Lessons Learned from Nasty Critics, I laid out how critics taught me clear life lessons. One lesson I learned was to avoid unhappy, unclear people, masquerading as critics. Never give attention to fight. Always give your attention to love. Miserable people, or A-OK people having a miserable moment, do all they can to critique you so they get you to respond or react. Do not respond. Do not react. Give them no energy. Be with any fighting emotions, allowing your fears to pass. Move on.
At first, this task feels virtually impossible. I liken it to standing inside a room with 10,000 hornets buzzing around your head. Your first reaction is to swing at the hornets to protect yourself but that would be the worst mistake of your life. The hornets want to fight! Your best move is to stay calm, to be poised and to exit the room. Ditto for dealing with critics. They want that fight, that anger ejection, more than anything. Do not swing at them with a verbal jab because they want a fight and will gladly try to pick you apart. Be calm. Sit with your anxiety-fear-anger, and leave the room by not responding to these unclear folks.
As a wise man said; nobody ever built a statue for a critic.
Engage happy, successful bloggers to follow their path.